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About Me
I know “messy, stuck, and broken.” With a lot of other men I quietly whisper “me too.” I was sexually abused. I have both caused and experienced deep pain. Through a lot of good and bad therapy along with many years in 12-step / 12- tradition rooms, I found the courage to be free. Along the way, I discovered who I was and that I actually liked me. So now, I'm honored to help others discover the courage to change; find the freedom they yearned for and authenticity they thought was out of reach.
A preacher’s son; I am a dual-national and third-culture kid; born in Sussex, England to an English Father and American Missionary Mother. We moved to Portland when I was three years old (I lost my accent, sorry).
I am incredibly proud of my adult children — one of whom works for Home Depot and the other who serves in the US Navy. I ride a Triumph motorcycle and take amazing treks with friends. I have two dogs and two cats.
I am a certified Domestic Violence Perpetrator Counselor through the State of Washington, a Certified Sexual Addiction Counselor (CSAT), Certified Multiple Addictions Therapist (CMAT), and a Certified Couples Betrayal Trauma Recovery Therapist (CCBRT).
The Passion Behind Gracefall
My driving philosophy is centered on the idea of freedom—not as an escape from something, but as the power to be who you were created to be. This journey often begins with a fundamental reorientation away from the belief in total depravity toward the truth of being created in the image of God.
Many of us find ourselves at war with ourselves, caught between our deepest longings and our core values. We act outside our values to obtain what we long for, often compromising our integrity to feel a sense of belonging. Men, in particular, have been socialized to engage in relationships transactionally, which can lead to a profound sense of self-estrangement. It is a terrifying moment when you realize, "There is not a single thing I like about myself."
I believe in helping people see their own glory—the inherent value and worth that is often obscured by trauma and addiction. This is a process of moving beyond the transactional and into a space where you know who you are, apart from how others see you.
Betrayal is a particularly painful experience. The betrayed person is often left in a bind, a victim of addiction’s damage, while the focus shifts to the addict’s healing. My work acknowledges the specific wounds of the betrayed partner and provides a path for them to heal and recover alongside their partner’s journey.
I have both betrayed my partner and been betrayed by a partner. After my own recovery, I've learned from and worked with world-renowned experts through the International Institute for Trauma & Addiction Professionals (IITAP) in the treatment of sex addiction, betrayal, trauma, shame, and domestic violence. I can and want to help. Together we can do this!